Lean In, accelerate, & full steam ahead ladies.
This book gave me hope and left me feeling completely empowered.
Being that I am female and far from being married or having children, I am constantly thinking about it. I want to have a successful dental and writing career. I plan on owning my own practice. I plan on staying involved in organized dentistry. I want a family with a minimum of two children. And, I may possibly have to make all of this work with my current boyfriend ie. a future trauma surgeon.
The possibility of all of this happening simultaneously was pretty bleak, until now. Thank you Sheryl Sandberg for writing this book. (Note: Actual print stated you can’t have everything and prioritizing is key. Read as: I can have everything if I follow Sheryl’s advice.) My above list is very possible, but there are some important changes I need to make now to ensure this future.
The best lesson I can follow from Sheryl is, “Don’t Leave Before You Leave”. As soon as a woman starts thinking about her future family, she wants to make room for that family in her life. She subconsciously starts right away by not taking the lead on projects, not speaking up in the office, and not going after promotions. She slowly steps back, making herself appear less valuable to the team. She fades away and is no longer essential. Then you give birth and go on maternity leave. This is the exact opposite of what women should be doing in the work place.
“Anyone lucky enough to have options should keep them open. Don’t enter the workforce already looking for the exit. Don’t put on the breaks. Accelerate. Keep a foot on the gas pedal until a decision must be made. That’s the only way to ensure that when that day comes, there will be a real decision to make.”
I like that, accelerate. Always move forward, gain momentum, and don’t let anything hold you back. Having a baby does not mean giving up your career at all. After maternity leave you will have an amazing job to return to. This chapter is where the title, “Lean In”, came from. When you naturally want to lean out, this is the exact point in your life when you need to lean in.
Another great tip from Sheryl, and a chapter that I will make sure my future husband reads, is titled, “Make Your Partner A Real Partner.” It is absolutely necessary for two successful people to have a family and a life together. I think this chapter might be self-explanatory.
One story that spoke directly to me and my OCD self, is something the dean of Weill Cornell Medical College, Dr. Laurie Glimcher, told Sheryl:
“‘I had to decide what mattered and what didn’t and I learned to be a perfectionist in only the things that mattered.’ In her case, she concluded that scientific data had to be perfect, but reviews and other mundane administrative tasks could be considered good enough at 95 percent. Dr. Glimcher also said she made it a priority to get home at a reasonable hour, adding that when she got there, she refused to worry about whether ‘the linens were folded or the closets were tidy. You can’t be obsessive about these things that don’t matter.'”
This is a huge problem for me. In my apartment every single item has a place. If the magazines aren’t in a perfect stack on the coffee table, then I will straighten them before I am able to do anything else. I typically get out a measuring cup and put exactly 1/3 cup of granola in my Greek yogurt every morning because that is the serving size. Readers, please imagine that plus your typical subclinical OCD dentist, now with a child to take care of. Suddenly keeping track of those little things may not seem vital.
I need to look at the big picture. I need to decide what is important and commit to those few things. It could be getting home for dinner every night at 6 pm, or it could be packing my child’s lunch every morning. I must come to terms with the fact that I will not be perfect, and I cannot do everything. Sheryl appropriately quotes Gloria Steinem. “You can’t do it all. No one can have two full-time jobs, have perfect children and cook three meals and be multi-orgasmic ’till dawn… Superwoman is the adversary of the women’s movement.” True story.
I am no longer worried about my future, whatever it may hold. I no longer obsess about how I’m going to have a baby, run my own practice, and still have time to read. I plan on pursuing my ambitions, worry free. Shery’s message was exactly what I needed to hear at eactly the right time. Residency applications here I come.
Rating: 5 Teeth
Before purchasing this book I read the Amazon reviews. Some were negative, and some were positive. After finishing this book, I now understand the divide. If you are a woman who plans on having a career, then you will LOVE this book. If you are a woman who simply has a job, then you may not fully understand Sheryl’s message.